It’s Dec 24th And 94% Of Dads Still Haven’t Bought Christmas Presents

Mayfair Mall, BC – “Holy shit, what day is it?” gasped local dad, Phil Trunder, “Jesus fucking Christ.” On December 24th, millions of dads will dad their way into town in their dad-mobiles (Hyundai Santa Fe’s) and desperately shop for whatever is left. “Kids like sand paper right?” thought Ed McNeil, father of two. “I’m sure my wife would like some paper towel.” The dads will return just in time to dad with their family and make a dad joke about shopping at the last second like a dad.