Weary Student is Re-Invigorated as Hunger Starts to Cancel out Fatigue

“I was just about to pass out,” said Jeremy Wiener, a student at the University of British Columbia. “But then I realized how hungry I was and I felt a surge of energy!” Scientists say that this phenomenon, called “A Lot of Things are Due Very Soon Syndrome,” originated in the first humans to allow us to get a lot of shit done when there was no food available. “When hunger and fatigue mix, the human body basically dies, but the brain forces it to continue,” said Dr. Alan Mosley, a professor of neuroscience at the University of Alberta. “It is important to get food or sleep soon after you’ve entered this state, even though you feel that you don’t need any, because you’ll probably die. Or maybe you’ll live forever? I don’t actually know.” With exams mounting toward the holiday season, keep your eye on the clock. If it looks like you haven’t slept or eaten in more than 36 hours, you should probably do both, because if you’ve procrastinated to this point, you can probably put off your assignments a little longer.

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