Halifax, NS – “He’s such a weird little shit,” said Frank Mulligan. “Is he trying to seduce me or something?” On Father’s Day, Mulligan’s son, Jack, presented him with wine and chocolates as a gesture of gratitude for being a great dad. “I couldn’t think of what to get him,” said Jack, “It was the first thing I saw.” This isn’t the first time Frank has been disappointed by his son. “Last year he got me a day pass to Disneyland. Just one for me, so I could go by myself? What the hell is that? The year before he got me mosquito netting. He’s so fucking strange. I bet he’s gay. In fact, I hope he’s gay and hope he comes out of the closet soon and stops acting like such a little weirdo. I also wish he would stop spending so much time in the kitchen trying to make pictures with pancake batter.”