Mounted Halloween Horror Roams Countryside Searching For Lost Hairline

Salem, MA – The good townsfolk of Salem are always extra cautious this time of year, they know it isn’t safe after dark. Salem native, Fred O’Leary, sighted the pasty ghoul just yesterday,  “You can hear him in the distance at night, the mournful howls send shivers right down me spine.” The restless spirit has returned to this town every year since the mid 90s, as the legend goes, and he scours the hills after dark seeking to find his once youthful hairline. “Don’t let him catch you,” warned O’Leary, “He’ll slice your hair right off, but not all of it, he’ll just sort of enlarge your forehead until people don’t take you seriously anymore. The poor bastards that he’s caught have had to shave the rest of their head.” Another local, Margaret Ferguson, had a very close encounter with the monster, “I heard sobbing in the barn one night, so I investigated. What I saw there was a figure dressed all in black, hunched over and looking so vulnerable. For some reason I felt the need to get closer, and maybe see him for who he truly was. As I drew nearer I saw the truly gruesome sight of his enormous forehead glistening in the moonlight. I ran back to the house, I knew he was truly a monster, I warned the others.” It is advised that the public take extra caution when in the town of Salem this Halloween, and remember, you are only only safe once you have crossed the covered bridge.