Middle School Students Recent Promotion To Jazz Band Guarantees A River Of Pussy

Red Deer, AB – “I better wear a life jacket,” thought Tyler Frumpkin, as he opened the spit-valve on his trumpet, “Because I don’t want to drown in all the pussy.” The Jazz band is an elite crew of students who’s parents are willing to pick them up later after school, and help mop up the lake of pussy that sloshes in the gym after a concert. “Sometimes I pity the girls, I think they all might go mad with jealousy if I pick just one, so I plan on keeping myself available. It’s only fair.” After playing an entire C major scale with only one mistake, Tyler strutted down the hall and started placing chairs and “Slippery Surface” warnings in the gym. While the regular band at his middle school plays lame music for nerds, the jazz band offers a more sophisticated and sensual selection of repertoire. “Right now we’re working on the Mission Impossible theme song. After we’re done I know the girls are gonna be slavering for a slice of Frumpkin pie.”