Study Finds People Who Wake Up Earlier Than You Are Morally Superior

Oak Bay – A new study published this week in Northern Star Science Journal shows research that has found a link between waking hours and morality. “People who wake up early are most certainly better people,” said Dr. Arm Menian, head of morality studies at Norman Rockwell University. “We don’t have scientific evidence as of yet, but our instincts tell us we are correct.” Statistically, young people tend to stay up later and wake up later, which has led many to believe that young people (especially this generation, the one that listens to Beyoncé) are immoral. The findings of this study have confirmed that suspicion. When asked what possible solution there could be to this problem, Dr. Menian answered, “More church, less video games.”