Homeless Pianist Has Contract Cancelled After Purchasing Home

Ft. Lotterdale, WA – “We thought he was really talented.” said Harold Lebenstein, a record executive for RCA, “You know, talented for a homeless guy. So we sign him because he’s already gone viral and it looks like he’s gonna be a hit. So what does he decide to do with his signing bonus? He uses it for a down payment on a new home. Great. You know who else has a house? Krystian Zimmerman, Andras Schiff, Martha Argerich… I mean come on, Barry! What were you thinking? We didn’t like your playing, you’re garbage, but we LOVED your story!” Barry, the homeowner pianist, had his contract terminated on August 28th. There was no cancellation clause so Barry was awarded no money. However RCA record is reported to have dropped off a kilo of crack cocaine at Barry’s new home in an attempt to revive his career as a homeless pianist.