Universities Scout Sports Leagues To Find Assholes For School Of Business

Arizona State University – “We’re looking to find the most ultra competitive folks out there,” said Dan Hedley, head scout for ASU, “we want people who will do anything to win. Anything. What better place to look than among our nations athletes!” Dan then laughed to himself and said, “before we started this system our business program was full of such PUSSIES, now we’ve got some real people who grab life by the fucking balls and aren’t afraid to RIP IT UP.” When asked if he ever scouted at soccer games, Dan snorted, “We already do a lot to support the gay community at ASU. So no, I don’t scout at soccer games, you can ask my WIFE.” At the end of the interview Dan handed me his business card which was a bottle of hair gel with his name and number printed on the side.