Homing Pigeon Dreads Homing for the Holidays

Boston, MA – “I try to make my family visits as short as possible,” said Terry, a homing pigeon. “I limit them to two, three days tops. I can’t stand my mom constantly asking me why I’m still single.” Terry, like many young homing pigeons, will return to roost at his childhood coop this Christmas. “My great-aunt Meryl just coos racist things about crows and ravens the whole time,” Terry said, “It’s awful. I have to grind my beak to keep from saying anything.” As per tradition, his family will eat a tense dinner of breadcrumbs, poop on a statue, and then wander into traffic.