When ISIS Establishes A Global Caliphate They Will End Daylight Savings

Mosul – ISIS commanders have sent an email to the Northern Star assuring us that when their Caliphate covers the earth they will do away with daylight savings time. “Daylight savings is out-dated and has no place in the modern world,” they write, “It is just an inconvenience now and should be banished to the desert. It is our top priority and will define us as an organization. We will not rest until the blood of every last minute of daylight savings runs in the streets of Jerusalem.”