Researchers Find That Early Humans Would Wait To Get Back To The Cave Instead Of Defecating In Public Bushes

Johannesburg – “We are so incredibly excited by this find,” said lead researcher Dr. Sarah Jones. “It just sends shivers down my spine to know how much like us these early hominids were. To think, over a million years ago our ancestors were walking as fast as they could (being careful not to jostle too much) back from the hunt so they could defecate in a familiar bush instead of a weird public one. Just amazing.” The researchers agree that this behaviour is what led to all the fossilized feces being found in one bush near the hominid skeletons. “It is such a privilege to work on this project. We get to study a common ancestor and learn about what makes who we are. Now we know for sure one of the defining characteristics that makes us human, that unites our species, is our instinctual desire to shit at home.”