Local Dandy Doesn’t Know What To Do With His Sticky Hands

Vancouver, BC – “I touched something icky and now they’re sticky!” – said exasperated fancy-man, Jasper Marigold. “I need to find a water station soon or I fear I will remain paralyzed!” Marigold stickened his willowy fingers with sap after leaning against a tree. “I can’t touch anything now, I may as well not have arms. This tree sap is stuck on me like a belle stuck on one of those handsome navy boys.” After walking with his hands elevated for more than 11 minutes he managed to dab his handkerchief in a stream and scrub off the sticky.

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